On Vulnerability

The other day my middle son’s teacher came over to me during school pick up to brag on him. She starting by saying she was asking the class to share their writing, and no one was volunteering.

I was imagining the state of the room at this point. Complete silence, everyone nervously looking down at their paper or hands or up at the clock, doing whatever it takes to NOT make eye contact with the teacher.

In fact, I wondered where the story would head at this point. Peter’s my introvert; he’s the kid who in kindergarten stood outside of the circle, cautiously watching the other kids participate. He’s the same kid whose preschool teacher called me in March to tell me Peter spoke up in class for the very first time.

But she surprised me by going on to say that Peter broke the silence by volunteering to read his writing.

My shy, reserved introvert did the vulnerable thing.

And when he did, it broke the dam and the other kids willfully and eagerly volunteered.

His vulnerability helped till the safe space the other kids needed in order to be vulnerable in turn.

Vulnerability is contagious.

But the key is that moments like this only unfurl if space is tenderly held for our vulnerability. We must know we will be accepted as we are.

The funny thing about accepting someone just as they are is that it leads to growth. You’d think it would lead to complacency, but humans have an innate desire to grow. Once we’re able to stop hiding our shame and living a life always in protection mode, we get to point our faces to the sun, bear all that is us, and press on.

Going back to my son’s moment of bravery, it’s clear to me now that the teacher is the one who spent the first quarter of the school year pouring into the kids, accepting them as they are. Peter clearly felt that acceptance and safety, and ended up being the first follower.

I hope you have such safe spaces. You deserve to be accepted as you are.

Related: if you are craving a safe space in which to share, ask, be empowered, and grow, I would love to provide that space for you. I currently offer these spaces in the form of 1:1 mentorships and a soon-to-be cohort. Click on each to learn more. 🖤