End Goals Are Depressing

I don’t know exactly when it was that I stopped believing in end goals, but I am sure it’s one of the most freeing things I have done.  Because end goals are total liars and frauds. They tell you that once you achieve them you’ll be completely fulfilled and content to rest on your laurels until your dying day.

And anyway, the idea of reaching some sort of apex and then being “done” is a really bleak one.  As if there’s some ultimate goal to achieve and then…..that’s it.  That’s the ceiling? As if you’re capable of no more than that one end goal? And once you get there, you have nowhere left to go?

It’s a depressing thought, right? So you’re with me? No end goals?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I believe in goals.  Goals are motivators that keep you going; they can keep you aligned as you press on.  But I think of these more as benchmarks or breakthroughs. They are of note, so they might be listed in the Table of Contents of your life story, but they’re not what the entire book is about. And thank goodness the story doesn’t end as soon as you reach one. 

So what do I believe in? 

I believe in purpose. 

I have recently come to the decision to make myself a set of rules by which to live my life. But these aren’t the kind of rules that pen me in like a fence, they’re the kind that come from a spring in the middle of the garden. I have to visit the spring to sustain life, so I can’t stray too far. It keeps me centered and grounded and thriving. 

One of those rules that the spring spouts is my purpose. 

I was recently on an episode of All Through A Lens podcast and I spoke about this very idea.  Liz Potter and I were guests for the first round table interview with Eric and Vania (hosts of the show). As we were talking about this idea of purpose, I had the good fortune of Eric asking Liz FIRST what her purpose was.  This gave me a chance to think about my own purpose before answering 😂 

I had really only came up with the thought of needing to find my purpose mere days before, and it was on my to-do list, but here we were…a deadline. The very thing I preach about needing in my group The Artists’ Collab.  And yeah, I needed one to motivate me to figure it out; I just didn’t think my deadline would be mere seconds away.

I had the advantage of a few days of my subconscious processing the question, but the deadline forced my brain to come to a conclusion. By the time it was my turn to answer, I had figured out my purpose:

To use my vulnerability to empower others. 

I tend toward a 4 on the enneagram, and I was later reflecting about how the purpose I came up with aligns so well with the enneagram 4’s core motivation, which is to express their true, authentic selves and create meaning for themselves and others. 

I am currently in the process of building the life I want to live, and finding my purpose felt like an integral task to the process.  I am already checking to make sure what I’m doing aligns with it, and will keep it in mind as I move forward.  It can be a good editor (and I’m awful at editing, so I need all the help I can get) as I decide whether to turn down or undertake a task. 

Come what may, I know my purpose. And when I achieve a goal, I don’t have to then worry about “topping” it to feel successful, I just have to keep pursuing my purpose.

There’s always more work to do, and that is an exciting thought. I anticipate the enumerable ways I will be a conduit to creatively fulfill this purpose, the people I will meet along the way, and the stories I will gather.

So I encourage you to locate your purpose.

Maybe consider finding out your enneagram number. The enneagram can be *a tool* (one of many, we are complex and nuanced beings and no ONE TOOL will fully get us) to help you understand what propels you forward. 

Talk with trusted mirrors who know you and see you to externally process what your purpose might be.

Journal; keep note of what you’re drawn to and what feels fulfilling.

We all have a purpose, but naming it will help you center your life around it. 

Also, get on the list for The Secret Journal. Images and words that won’t be found in public.