Discover What’s Beyond Your Limits

You’re in a rut.  You know that you can keep going as you are, and stay rather “comfortable”.  But if you’re honest with yourself, you’re not actually content in your rut; you just prefer it to the alternative of stepping out of that comfort zone.  

And boy do I feel that. Because, let’s be honest, the familiarity of the dull discomfort is preferable to the extreme discomfort of pushing into new territory. Until it’s not. Expansion can be highly painful, but the rewards are high and reverberate into the future. 

I believe strongly in this expansion period; a certain amount of stress can be highly beneficial for growth. As a Professional Pusher™ I want to empower you today with three tools to help you as you step out of that familiar territory and into new terrain.

PERMISSION

This first one has been the most important for me. Getting permission to do the things I dream of has literally been a game-changer.  The only caveat is that it takes looping someone else into your creative journey.  And not just anyone else, but it takes a believing mirror.  

So what’s a believing mirror?  It’s someone who sees you.  They see your gifts and talents, and because they’re outside of you, they probably more clearly see your capabilities and know you can climb higher than you even realize. 

This person (or people) who really “get it” will give you that permission you need to step across that start line.  

Every month for The Art Lab, I offer tea time slots.  These are some of my favorite moments during the month, because they’re 15 minute one-on-ones where we get to chat and I get to know you better and help push you toward your goals.  

As I was chatting with a member, it became clear that the thing she was avoiding was exactly the thing she needed to embrace. As soon as she said “I’m afraid of photographing people I don’t know.” I could see her prepare for what she knew was coming next, which was my reply  “Then that’s exactly what you need to do.” And we laughed, because we both knew just how this moment was going to play out.  

I asked her if she knew where she needed to go to do this, and she nodded emphatically.  She told me she absolutely knew where to go.  This indicated to me that there was a clear and specific task calling to her for awhile now.  It was one that made her incredibly uncomfortable, so she needed someone to identify this in her and give her the permission to get out and do it.  

The look on her face was one of excitement and trepidation.  The exact mixture we have when we are heading the direction of expansion.  But we don’t like to be the reason why we are willingly heading toward trepidation, so having the permission from someone else gives us the ability to say “Welp.  Amy told me to do it, so I guess I better.”  And that can often be just the nudge and even accountability we need to proceed. 

EMBRACE DATA COLLECTION

Is there such a thing as failure?  Probably.  But I view failure more as someone sitting on the sidelines, watching life pass them by while others join in on the fun. 

Those who are joining in on the fun and making mistakes aren’t failing if they take the view of data collection.  And data collection is really just a path to knowledge. The experiences of successes and “failures” give us the raw material that we need to turn events into lessons-learned and ultimately wisdom.  

In fact, the advice to entrepreneurs is “fail quickly”. Meaning that the faster you “fail”, the less resources you sink into things that aren’t working, and the faster you can figure out what iteration will work.  

Embracing the mentality that everything is data collection gives you the permission to experiment and innovate.  It’s honestly one of the reasons I named The Art Lab as such.  I wanted the word “lab” in the title (not just to stay consistent with Film Lab 135, but that was part of it), but also as a reminder that we are to treat the process like a giant experiment.  That goes for the art we create AND the way I run the group.  I have tried to keep nimble as I build the group; whenever I second-guess trying something new, I remind myself of the word “lab” in the title and that gives me the push I need to experiment. 

SELF-COMPASSION

Honestly, we all need more self-compassion in our lives.  This especially comes into play whenever we are taking risks and pushing ourselves into new territory.  Self-compassion is essential when it comes to resilience and emotional well-being.  These are things we absolutely need when it comes to pushing out of our comfort zones.  I could write a whole separate entry about self-compassion (and I probably will), but even some basics will do the trick.  

One of the facets of self-compassion I have found helpful in acute moments of stress is providing myself the validation and encouragement I know I need to move forward.  This basically looks like telling myself my emotions are valid (never skip this step) and then finding true words to bring me back to a systemic view.  When we enter into new territory, it’s natural for us to feel anxious or scared but we also get to remind ourselves of the ways in which we are being brave and growing. 

A couple months back, on a whim, I decided to apply to be in an art fair, and the worst thing happened: I got in.  I paid the fee and started looking up all the things I’d need to set up my booth.  It was overwhelming and expensive, and I started to panic and decided I’d back out.  I definitely wanted to run away from the experience because it felt too foreign and risky.  

And that’s when I realized my fear was an indicator I needed to do it.  I needed to make sure I’m NOT running away just because I’m scared, because these are the moments that present opportunities for growth.  Also, let’s be real, if I’m going to push you out of your comfort zones, I better make sure I’m doing the same.  This was a moment to practice what I preach; I never want to push you to places I’m not willing to go myself. 

But that doesn’t mean my fears are invalid, so everytime the fear crops up, I literally talk to myself and say something like “Oh Amy.  This is new and unknown and it makes sense that you would be scared.  But being afraid is also what makes you brave, and you are allowing yourself the chance to expand.  You’re so courageous and you are capable to figure this out!”  

Is it weird to talk to yourself?  Maybe.  But it shouldn’t be.  We get to provide ourselves the validation and empowering words we need.  Doing that for ourselves is essential for alchemizing the pain of life into joy.   

YOUR TURN

You know that thing that you tell yourself “I’ll NEVER do that” or “Yeah, I should do that, but now isn’t the time.  I’ll wait.”  You know the thing that gives you just a little pit in your stomach when you think about it?  That’s the thing you’re running away from. And that’s exactly the thing that will help you get to the next level.  

It might be embracing self-portraits or even having that tough conversation with a friend.  It could mean finally joining that group of artists you’ve been eyeing or going to that meet-up without knowing a single soul there. 

Consider this your permission to just do the darn thing.  Don’t wait until the timing is “right” and don’t convince yourself you can just keep running away from it.  Facing it now will help you make the steps toward a more expansive self.  Check this one off the list so you can move on to the next; your growth gets to start now.